Just like that, it happens again. What kind of idiot gets lost somewhere she’s already been to at least 20 times? It must be that googlemaps is confused. I can sense the classic mix of road rage at myself for not being able to get there independent of technology. A mild panic brews at being late for yoga (which is a bit ironic isn’t it).
So it isn’t very surprising later in the same week, when a friend asks why I didn’t just drive to work, I reply vehemently with: “I hate driving, it makes me stressed”.
What was going on? Was it really the driving or was there something else that was causing driving to be a stressful situation for me?
It turns out I have ANTs. Chances are, if you have been alive long enough to learn to think for yourself, you probably have them too. ANTs, or “Automatic Negative Thoughts” are negative interpretations of reality which are established from past experiences involving ourselves and others.
According to AI, we have 60,000-70,000 thoughts per day 90% of which are repetitive. So it’s not surprising that our brains often use “what happened last time” to make a reasonable prediction about “what might happen this time”. The predictions might be helpful or unhelpful. They occur without us really realising it. The problem with ANTs is there is often not just one unhelpful negative thought. A colony of ANTs can become overwhelming forcing us into a negative downward spiral.
PART 1 Identifying garden variety ANTs
What do ANTs look like? Here are some examples:
- All or nothing: “I always get lost when I’m driving”, “You never get here when you say you will”.
- Blaming: “That recipe failed - must be a dodgy recipe”, “That recipe failed - I’m such a hopeless cook”.
- Personal vendetta: “I’m sure my boss is out to get me because he feels threatened, how typical of him”.
- Guilt-beater (variations of should’ve, have to, must, ought to) “I knew I should have cleaned up before going to bed, this place is a pigsty”.
- Mind reading: “I bet he thinks he can get away with it, he always gets away with it”.
- Future telling: “Oh here we go again, you’re buttering me up so I’ll give you what you want”.
- Less-than: “She does it so much better than me”.
- If-only-then: “If only I hadn’t booked that yesterday, It would have worked out better”
- Labelling (generally negative): “I am a failure as a parent”.
- Getting even: “You made me angry, it’s only fair I punish you for it”
PART 2 Calling in pest control
So what can we do about our ANTs? Is there a way to manage the infestation and maintain mental cleanliness?
As much as it is embarrassing to confess, we recently had to deal with a real live cockroach problem at home. It dawned on me how there are usually two main ways we tackle any “bug problem”:
- Responsive - the Mortein comes out when we see a roaming cockroach, and
- Proactive - buying some cockroach bait once we recognize we have more than a few roaming around the home regularly.
We might consider managing our ANT infestation in the same way - responsively in the moment, and also proactively as part of our ongoing mental fitness “exercise”.
Responsive ANTs management
The first step in a responsive approach to managing your ANTs is to notice them. Noticing an ANT means we have an opportunity to pause, and interrupt before the ganging up happens.
Since ANTs are all negative interpretations of reality, the second step is to challenge the truth of the interpretation.
Not every thought is automatically true, so I should stop acting like it is! I need to work out what is true. As a follower of Jesus, I’m reminded of these words: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” [Philippians 4:8].
Challenging the truth claim means I can then replace it with Overriding Positive Truths (OPTs).
A Step-By-Step Guide to Responsive ANTs Management
I found Cline and Fay’s Step by Step ANT Eliminator incredibly helpful:
- Notice the ANTs, preferably by identifying them out loud or writing it down.
- Figure out the type of ANT it is. Sometimes it's a combination. (Try using the list from part 1).
- Talk back to your ANTs with TRUTH by asking:
- Is it true?
- Is it really true?
- How do I feel when I believe this thought?
- How would I feel if I didn’t have this thought?
- Take the original thought and turn it around to its opposite, then tell yourself this new version may be true or truer than the original thought (OPTs).
Proactive ANTs management
I’ve been thinking how our ANTs are actually a mirror for our personal values and our fears of where we fall short. So a proactive approach to ANT management involves reflecting on what our core personal values are, and training our minds to have the OPTs ready, before the ANTs come. When we actively prepare our positive truths, they become more readily available in our times of need.
Calling in pest control
What would Responsive and Proactive ANTs management look like with my driving?
Responsive ANT management will be to notice the ANT. “I am a bad driver, I always get lost” is my version of an all-or-nothing ANT. Secondly I ask myself if this is really true. I realised I felt ashamed for having this thought but in processing it I was able to replace it with: “I am a safe driver. When I’m not sure where to go, I care about the safety of those around me, and find a way to my destination without endangering anyone, even if it takes a few extra turns”. My ANT tells me I’m a bad driver. My OPT tells me I’m a safe driver.
Proactive ANT management will recognize that the ANT surfaced because I am afraid of being incompetent (“bad” at driving). I have a core personal value of competence. When I reflect, I realise that there are more important measures of my competence than my driving ability. That realisation helps me to replace the ANT with a more potent OPT like: “I’m thankful I’m able to drive and get to things I enjoy, like a yoga class”. These potent truths have the power to go beyond a particular ANT or situation, and to transform who we are and what we value the most.
Reflecting on a time before I became a believer of Jesus, I was often overrun with blame and guilt when I was afraid of not being good enough. Which goes to show how important competence is to me. When I heard that Jesus told those who believed him: “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” [John 8:32] it helped me replace my fear of not being good enough with freedom of following him instead. My new, potent OPT became: Jesus is always good enough, so I don’t have to be. This is a beautiful truth that I find myself falling back on whenever my personal value of competence is challenged: as a driver, a worker, a partner, a mother, even as a human being. It doesn’t mean I sit back and don’t try or care. It means how well I do at these things isn’t the measure of me. I’m freed from that anxious striving to prove myself, and the blame and guilt when I fail.
Maybe your ANTs come out when you are driving - or maybe they don’t. Whenever they do make an appearance, perhaps you’ll find a new way to focus on what is true, and to remind yourself of the personal values that are most important to you. When you focus on what is true and right, that also means you can be free to let go of what is untrue, unhelpful and unjust.
I haven’t eliminated my ANTs entirely, but I can say that when they do show up, I am mentally fitter to tackle them head on.
Additional discussion/reflection questions
- [Pre-discussion work] What is an example of an ANT that I struggle with?
- What are some situations that are ANT triggers for me?
- Do my ANTs reveal any fears that are exposed/personal values not being prioritised for me?
- What’s one thing I can do for my mental fitness this week?
